Yesterday I Came Out on Facebook…

and it went swimmingly, fantastically well. Everyone who responded to my status responded positively, including two teachers I hadn’t seen since middle school (yes, I’m friends with former teachers/administrators from my middle school. They’re cool.) Not only that, but over the day, I got to see other peoples’ statuses as they came out, including my friend who was prominently featured in my last post and some other friends who I hadn’t known identified as demisexual as well. It was really wonderful to watch that all unfold and see all the positive responses everyone had, for me and for each other.

Last night, I went to Tim Miller’s performance of “Glory Box”, a solo performance piece he wrote in 1999 about immigration rights and the obstacles he and his Australian husband faced in trying to get the latter admitted into the United States. It was a beautiful piece and I loved it. I went and bought a copy of his book that included this piece, as well as several others, and he signed it for me. As he did so, he commented again on the theatre piece I had done the night before at the workshop, and I told him that the workshop had helped to crystallize my desire to come out, and was what gave the me the impetus and the courage to actually do so. He’s a super nice guy who was genuinely interested in what people had to say and the stories they had to tell.

It’s funny, but in the end it makes so much sense, that it was through theatre and performance that I found the courage to come out. It’s in many ways easier to reveal parts of yourself and be open with other people when performing. It’s a strange, liminal world, particularly in the way Tim Miller does it, where you are performing as yourself and acting out experiences you yourself have lived through, but in performing them, they take on a whole new quality that makes those experiences and emotions more real and tangible. In a sense, it’s easier to perform as yourself because you are given overt permission to perform as yourself. To act out your own life. That sort of thing isn’t generally encouraged in regular, day-to-day life. When you perform a piece about yourself, it’s practically impossible to criticize it or say that it’s false because you’re not that person; you haven’t lived their life. To successfully come out on stage, a space in which for one moment I was the undisputed authority, made me believe I could do it in real life too. And I did.

The moral of the past two days? Listen to your theatre professor when she tells you to go to things. That and that it’s important to listen to yourself and what you have to say. That you’re stronger and braver than you think you are. That your creativity and your words mean something, even if they only have meaning for yourself, and that they can be, and are, a powerful force for change.

I did it. I really did it.

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Published in: on October 12, 2011 at 4:45 AM  Leave a Comment  

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