The 30 Day Asexuality Challenge – Day 19

19) What do relationships mean to you?

That’s a pretty broad question, but I will try to be succinct.

Up until a couple of years ago, I firmly categorized romantic relationships as being “more important” and “more meaningful” than just friendships. I did believe, as I do now, that the best romantic relationships were those in which the partners were friends/started out as friends, but I thought that romantic feelings and attraction added something “extra” that elevated that relationship beyond all others.

Since identifying as asexual, I have had to drastically rethink the importance of certain types of relationships and ask hard questions about what I stand to gain or lose in how I categorize them. Since the odds of me being in a successful, long-lasting romantic relationship, absent of any sex, are very slim, I need to look elsewhere for the types of feelings, experiences, and emotions I want to share with people. As a result, certain friendships of mine have come to mean more to me than they ever have before. And I’m continuing to open up to the idea, and accept, that the best relationships, regardless of type or categorization, will be the ones in which I am so amazingly happy to be in their presence and that we each share a space in each other’s life.

I’m a pretty big introvert. I’ve gotten better at being superficially friendly over the past two years, but I’m only close to – as in really good friends with – a couple of people. My goal and my hope is that my ability to create friendships and relationships will continually grow, such that wherever I go, there will be people who exist, in whatever capacity, to share my life with and to share theirs with me. Granted, I’m not looking to love a whole city (like I said, I’m an introvert), but I would like a core group of people that I love and who love me back. Love is love, no matter what form it takes, and I want it to always be there, no matter what.

Published in: on August 14, 2011 at 11:18 PM  Leave a Comment  

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